DONNARIE'S CORNER
How bad do Idol singers have to be before they get the boot?
Donnarie Campbell

Every year I watch "American Idol" and swear I'll never watch it again, but when the new season rolls around I somehow manage to forget the previous year's discontent and find myself front and center.

This year's focus of of my ire?

The somewhat cute but vaguely talented Jason Castro.

A few weeks ago, Jason managed to maliciously maul Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber's beautiful ballad "Memories" into a mangled mouthful of mush; I haven't seen such a felonious assault on a song since Roseanne Barr sang the national anthem.

The only insulting thing Jason didn't do was scratch and spit but I almost wish he had - at least then he would have added a little character to his otherwise lifeless and listless performance.

I mean seriously, HOW BAD does this kid have to sing before he gets eliminated?

Week after week we watch contestants with far greater potential get sent packing while Jason smiles smugly from his seat of safety on the couch, having been voted through yet again.

Carly Smithson went home tonight; I can sit quietly no longer. Granted, Carly's demise may have been partly her her fault. She sang "Jesus Christ, Superstar," and admittedly I'm no fan ( of the Lord, SURE, but of the song - NO).

It sounds blasphemous to those unfamiliar with musical theater so it may have cost her Bible Belt votes, but my real beef came three weeks ago when my main man, Michael Johns, went home while Jason sailed through to safety after having sung a song while playing the ukulele.

(Yes, you read that right; I said ukulele.) He looked and sounded like a New Age Tiny Tim while my guy owned the stage like a rock star. Still, Michael exited and Jason remained.

I should have quit watching right then and there, but I thought "Surely he'll leave next week!" Not yet! WHO is voting for this guy?

The best I can figure out, Jason is getting the vote of besotted teens mesmerized by the droopy dreads that look like a bunch of dirty socks hanging off his head.

I know, I know, this all makes me sound terribly old, but I've read the message boards; I'm not the only one who feels this way.

And besides, isn't A-I supposed to be a SINGING COMPETITION anyway and not about stylish 'do's? Brooke White took a bashing because she forgot her lyrics and had to stop and start over.

Thankfully, America forgave her that little indiscretion and voted her through.

She isn't the greatest singer on stage, but I figure if Jason gets a pass then Brooke deserves one.

She's got this Carly Simon/Carole King thing going on, and I'm a child of the 70's so I can get into that.

Besides, at least her hair is always nice and clean. Apparently that is what this year's contest is boiling down to now that all the real singers have been ousted.

Jason's not like Sanjaya of last year who nobody thought could sing.

This guy even has the judges bamboozled. Simon raves about him, which totally blows my mind; he's supposed to know real talent.

Some say Castro could walk away with the whole enchilada.

If he does, just remember - you read it here. I will NEVER watch another "American Idol" episode in my whole life.

That will, in turn, save you from the one obligatory "American Idol" column every season.

Meanwhile THE question of 2008 is not "Who's going to be elected President?"

THE question is, "How bad does that kid have to sing before he's FINALLY eliminated from that Godforsaken show?"

Donnarie Campbell is a freelance writer from Orange. She can be reached at deecee955.aol.com